


Keep Living, It Gets Better

by Soashal



Category: Krashlyn - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Love, National Women's Soccer League, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:36:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16892739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soashal/pseuds/Soashal
Summary: A love story between Ali and Ashlyn. Based on reality with some modifications and imaginations.When you go through life, there will be ups and downs. Love is part of life.





	1. Sometimes it is hard to tell the truth

Ashlyn sits on the side of the bed. The words start to sink in from the phone call that just ended. Orlando Pride, the new team in the league, the team from her home area, wants her as their starting goalkeeper for next season. She could actually be playing in front of her family next season. They just asked her to make herself available for trading and they would pick her. The timing could not be better, thinking about that things have not been great lately in the management of her current club Washington Spirit. But also, the timing could not be worse since she and Ali decided that Washington would be where they would finish their careers together. After all these years, rarely being on the same team and having to travel hundreds of miles to see each other only for a few days sometimes, now finally settled down in the same city and team. Also, the fact that Ali still had two years left on her contract was not making this a question of transferring and moving together.

Ashlyn looks down at her phone noticing that the time is way more than expected. Only 45 minutes until the start of their soccer practice and it would take at least 35 minutes to get there. At the same time, she hears a gentle knock on the bedroom door and Ali peaks her head in.

“We need to go, are you finished?” Ali asks cautiously, in case Ash would still be on the phone.

“Yeah” Ashlyn replies while standing up and taking the black bag laying on the floor.

“Who was it?” Ali asks.

“Ehm… my mom” Ash replies with a bit of hesitation, thinking this is not the right moment to talk about who really called. 

“What did she say?” Ali asks curiously, like she could sense something is up. 

“Can we talk about it when we get home, we are kind of in a hurry now” Ash says in the most normal tone she can, wishing Ali doesn’t insist on an answer. 

 

***

 

After practice, some of the girls wants everyone to go out for dinner, which almost everyone on the team agree on, but Ashlyn doesn’t really want to, she knows they will start talking about next season and possibly transfers. This is the last week of training for this season and it is about a month until most transfers are finished and the pre-season will start. It is not uncommon that the word spreads around fairly quickly, and the risk of someone already knowing which players Orlando Pride wants is increasing for every second. 

Ashlyn puts her towel around her waist. She looks to the side while putting on a clean black sports bra, seeing Ali’s eyes raking up and down her torso. Ali blushing a bit when she finally meets Ashlyn’s eyes and then smiles before continuing stuffing down her own towel in her bag. It always amazes Ashlyn how they both still can’t keep their eyes of each other. She often gets caught staring a bit too long as well. At home it’s no big deal and they usually tease each other or laugh about it, but when in public or in company of their whole team they both get a bit uncomfortable. Mostly because they have decided to not publicly show of their relationship and even though it’s not a secret and everyone in their nearest circuit knows they are a couple, they hold back a bit on the affection even in their company. 

They leave the training facility together in silence, heading towards their black BMW. Ashlyn takes the driver seat, not really sure yet how to justify going straight home and not joining the team for dinner. 

“Can we just go home?” Ash asks staring out the front window of the car still parked in its parking lot.

“Why? You always want to go with the team… and we still need to eat… I mean, I would like to go and just hang out with everyone before people start to leave for their national teams” 

“I know, me too, but I’m just tired… can’t we just order something and eat in front of the TV” Ash replies, just wanting to get home so she can sit Ali down and tell her about the phone call from Orlando Pride. Telling her at home and having time to talk about it, so they can make a joint decision. Though, truthfully, Ashlyn already knows what she wants. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to tell Ali, because she knows Ali will see through her, see how much she wants to play in front of her family, finally be able to have them in the stands. Because for Ashlyn, having her family in the stands is rare, her parents have never been financially stable and her brother has some personal problems which does not go well with traveling and stress.

“Please babe, it’s just an hour or two, then we can go home and just chill” Ali interrupts Ashlyn’s thoughts. 

“Ali, I just don’t feel like it…” Ash tries.

“Okay, but would you mind me going anyway?” Ali asks carefully. 

“I would prefer us going home but if you really want to go, that’s fine” Ash says a bit disappointed. Knowing that even though she won’t be there, someone could still talk to Ali about the transfers and possibly the Orlando Pride transfers.

“Okay then, let’s switch positions, I’ll drop you of at home” Ali says without hesitation. Even though they love doing stuff together, they rarely have problems with splitting up and doing different things and respecting the other person’s preference. Though, this time, Ashlyn is not so sure this was a good arrangement. 

Maybe I should just tell her now instead? Ashlyn thinks.

But having this conversation in the car doesn’t seem so appealing. It could be a long talk with an uncertain ending. From experience she can imagine Ali holding up a brave face trying to be supportive and not stand in the way of Ashlyn’s career or wishes. But then crumble and reveal her true feelings which she so desperately tries to hold back to cope with the situation. Like that time when Ash moved to Sweden, Ali had been so supportive and almost promoting the move as a big opportunity for Ash beforehand. Only to after a few weeks call Ashlyn sobbing and pouring her heart out, telling Ash how much she missed her and couldn’t be without her. This was of course at a different time in their relationship, they had just gotten used to living together and was not as confident in their relationship as they are now. But still, now they were in a different situation, living apart again was not according to their shared future plan.

 

***

 

Ali takes the stairs to her and Ashlyn’s apartment on the third floor. She can hear the TV through the door and she stops in front of it. 

Is Ashlyn hiding something? She thinks.

The image of an unknown number shooting out from the screen of Ashlyn’s phone. The long conversation held behind closed doors and then the lie, telling Ali it was her mom calling. Ali didn’t think much of it in that moment but the longer into the evening the time got all she could do was play out all that been said during the afternoon in her head, over and over again. Not that she didn’t trust Ash, she had never given her a reason not to, though she had messed up a few times in the beginning of their relationship, but nothing too serious, and she had always made sure to make Ali feel that she would never hurt her. Even if the last part sometimes could be a problem. Ashlyn cared so much about the people around her, sometimes to a point where she could hide her own feelings not to hurt anyone. 

Whatever she is hiding it’s probably nothing serious, right? Ali tries to convince herself.

Then thinking again that maybe the best thing to do would be to just confront Ash about the lie right away. 

Ali push the door open and walks into the living room where she finds Ashlyn laying on the couch sleeping with a blanket up to her ears. Ali moves closer, locking at her girlfriend, her blond hair laying messy over the pillow, her peaceful face and her hands tucked in under her chin. Maybe it’s not the right time to confront her tonight after all. Ali bends down, giving Ash a tender kiss on her temple while stroking her upper back with one hand. Ashlyn grunts almost noiselessly and opens her eyes. 

“Hi beautiful” Ali says, “I think it’s time to turn off the TV and get to bed”

Ali helps Ashlyn up and they make their way to the bathroom.

“Did you have a good time at the restaurant?” Ash asks.

“Yeah, nothing special but it was nice having time to talk to everybody” 

“Good” Ash replies and holds out the toothpaste to put some on Ali’s toothbrush, “it was pretty nice here too”.

While brushing their teeth they lean against each other, Ali putting her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder, looking at each other through the mirror, both seemingly tired and ready for a good night’s sleep. 

They walk together to their bedroom. Ashlyn goes over to the other side of the bed, nearest the window, and takes of her sweatpants and socks, already dressed to get right into bed. Ali is still dressed up, so she strips down fully naked not minding Ashlyn getting a good look before putting on a pair of comfortable panties and a white t-shirt. She crawls into bed, moving towards the middle, leaning close to Ashlyn’s face. They share a brief kiss and tell each other good night before laying down, facing each other and letting their hands intertwine before falling asleep.

 

***

 

Waking up together with Ali is one of Ashlyn’s favorite things, and this morning is no different. Ali nestles closer laying one arm and one leg over Ashlyn’s warm body, burying her face between the pillow and Ashlyn’s neck, making Ashlyn awake slightly with a feeling of love inside her. It feels safe, like no one can harm them, like all they need is each other and all the world’s problems haven’t woken up yet. In this moment everything is perfect. 

Ashlyn looks at Ali, kissing her forehead, pulling her closer and tangles their legs even more. 

“Good morning honey” Ash whispers. 

“Good morning” Ali whispers back, giving Ash a little kiss on her neck. 

If it wasn’t for the fact that Ashlyn needed to have the difficult transfer conversation, she would enjoy lying in bed all morning cuddling, but now her nerves starts to get the best of her. Ashlyn excuses herself to the bathroom meanwhile Ali takes that as a hint to get up and make some coffee and toasts for them. 

When Ashlyn walks into the kitchen she gets a lump in her through, she can’t really pinpoint exactly what is so hard about telling Ali this, it is like she already has waited too long, like only the fact that she has not told Ali anything in at least 12 hours starts to freak her out. 

This needs to be done now, she thinks to herself while grabbing her toast and mug and sits down opposite Ali at the table.

Just when Ash is about to start her phone rings from the counter. She walks over there, grabs the phone and walks out to the living room. 

“Hi, it’s Michael from Orlando Pride, we talked yesterday”

“Hi” Ash replies while turning towards the apartment door and out to the stairwell.

“I’m sorry to call you this early, but the reason I call is because we need an answer from you today. We have talked to your manager and your current contract with Washington is written in such way that it will automatically come into force for next season if it’s not terminated before a certain day, so you need to decide today because that day is tomorrow.” Michael explains. “We really want you for next season and if you want this as well you need to call your manager today to terminate your contract with Washington and then make yourself available for trading”. 

“Yes, I definitely want this, I will contact him today” Ash replies without thinking and then they hung up. She stands still. 

What did I just do? She thinks, and a feeling of panic starts to spread around her body. How is she going to explain this to Ali… That they need to decide on this today or more exactly that it’s almost already decided. Of course, she could still back out but that is not what she wants. They have made long distance work before and then it was not even any important reason for it. Now she has the opportunity to play in front of her family. She can’t say no to that.

Footsteps echoes in the stairwell and around the corner comes Ali’s mom Deb. She is living just five blocks away and often comes visit. 

“Ash! Hi! What are you doing out here?” Deb asks surprised.

“I was just on the phone” 

“I hope you’re not hiding something from my daughter” Deb jokes, not knowing how much those words hits Ash. Ashlyn tries to avoid the statement by smiling like she has not heard something that crazy. 

“Come in” Ashlyn offers, and they walk in together. 

“Look what I found” Ashlyn says while walking back into the kitchen with Deb behind her. 

 

***

 

After some chatting Deb wants to take Ashlyn and Ali out on a shopping trip to the city center which Ali is quick to agree on. Shopping is one of her favorite hobbies. Ashlyn agrees as well not wanting to ruin the day with her news and there would still be time to talk in the afternoon. 

Between all the shopping the three decides to go to the Washington Spirit sponsor and local sports bar for their buffet lunch. They sit down at a table in a booth. Mid through their meal the local sport news goes up on the TV-sets around the restaurant stating: Breaking news, the Washington Spirit starting goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris reported transferring to Orlando Pride for coming season, says reliable sources. 

“Seriously, reliable sources…” Ali exclaims with sarcasm evident in her voice. Ashlyn looks down at her food not wanting to meet Ali’s eyes.

“That is not accurate, right…?” Ali questions.

Ashlyn looks up, but not as much to look into Ali’s eyes, not knowing what to answer. Because they are right, almost at least, though this was not how Ali was supposed to find out. It would have been hard talking about this anyway but getting this news from someone else then Ashlyn and on top of that being in a public area is not helping. 

Ashlyn starts to come up with something to say. “It’s kind of true, but…” Ashlyn starts. 

Before she finds words to continue, she can see how tears starts to well up in Ali’s eyes. Ali grabs her purse and leaves the table heading towards the front door of the restaurant. 

“Ali! Wait!” Ashlyn yells after her. But it’s too late and the door closes behind her. Ashlyn and Deb watch Ali walk with fast steps towards their parked car with tears streaming down her face, getting into the car and drive off.


	2. Moving Out

Ali drives like on autopilot, knowing the exact way home. Everything around is a blur, it comes and passes without leaving a trace in her mind. All she can see in front of her is that look on Ashlyn’s face, the one she has when she is not capable of sharing the truth. All she can hear is Ashlyn’s words from across the table giving her enough information to realize that Ashlyn has made up her mind to move. All she can feel is her heart racing from all those questions forming in her mind.  
How could she put me in this situation? Why would she keep this a secret? When did she decide this? Can we even do long distance again? Or is she leaving me? Is she not in love with me anymore? Ali panics.

Well at home Ali goes straight into the bedroom burying her head in her pillow, sobbing uncontrollably. It takes a while until she starts to come down, trying to make sense of what just happen. She is angry with Ash, but what she wants in this same moment is for Ash to come and comfort her. She wants to feel Ashlyn’s warm embrace and tender voice telling her that everything is okay. She grabs Ashlyn’s pillow and squeezes it tightly against her chest. Smelling Ashlyn’s scent calms her down even more.

The bedroom window is open with a small gap. Ali can hear a car stop outside and her mom’s voice telling Ash to go ahead while she pays. Ali swallows hard, the moment to come could be life changing and the fear of it being her nightmare scenario, where Ashlyn would tell her that she doesn’t love her anymore, brings tears to her eyes again. 

 

***

 

“Ali!” Ashlyn calls when walking into the apartment.

She is not receiving an answer, but she can hear silent sobs from the bedroom. Seeing Ali curled up tightly squeezing Ashlyn’s pillow gives Ash a lump in her stomach and makes it hard for her to hold back her own tears when she sits down beside her girlfriend.

“I hope you understand that this was never the way I wanted you to find out about this” Ashlyn starts to explain. “I got a proposal yesterday and there where no good moment to talk to you about it, and today they called again, and I practically had to confirm that I am interested. Because I am and… “

“No good moment? Seriously Ash. You had plenty of opportunities to say something, you just didn’t!” Ali interrupts. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know… I guess, because I feel like I need to seize this opportunity it was hard to bring it up with you, I didn’t want to make you upset and I knew it would be a hard conversation.” Ashlyn tries again. 

“So, you just lied to me instead? You didn’t think that would make me upset?”

“I didn’t lie, I just postpone the conversation and I was planning on telling you this morning, but your mom came, and it was just not the right time. Or at least I thought, because I get that anytime would have been better then you finding out in that sports bar.” 

There is a moment of silence before Ali continues.

“I can’t believe you put me in that situation” Ali says with a sad voice, wiping away a tear from her cheek. 

“I didn’t mean to, I promise, I would not intentionally do that… Please Ali, I love you.” Ashlyn’s voice obviously emotional, she fears what outcomes her actions have caused.

“So… you love me, but you want to leave me?” Ali manage to get out between sobs, hiding her face in the pillow again.

“Ali…” Ashlyn lays herself down beside Ali, holding her tight, feeling Ali almost shaking while tears streaming down her face and down on Ashlyn’s neck and collarbone, leaving a dark spot on Ashlyn’s grey sweatshirt.

When Ali finally calms down, Ashlyn gives her a kiss on her forehead, using her hand to tilt Ali’s chin up, looking her deep in the eyes.

“You matter the most to me Ali, and if you don’t want me to go I won’t” Ash says sincerely.

“No, I can’t let you do that for me. I know this is something you want, and we have promised each other to not stand in the way of opportunities like this. But I am disappointed in you not telling me right away and making this even harder, because living apart is about trust Ash, and I feel like when you are not telling me things like this, it causes small rifts in our trust… and that scares me… and of course, it makes me sad thinking of us not living together, not even in the same city…” Ali tries to put words on her thoughts, tears starting to well up again.

“I’m sorry Ali. I know I fucked up with this. But I will do everything I can to repair that trust… because I love you so much” Ashlyn says, also with tears in her eyes.

“I love you too” Ali whispers, holding Ash tight. 

 

***

 

It takes a lot of explaining to get everything sorted out with how everything ended up like this to make both Ali and Deb give Ash their forgiveness. Ash calls her manager and gets her contract terminated and makes herself available for trading. Everything goes fast and within two days she is officially announced as the new goalkeeper for Orlando Pride and they want her down there in only three weeks to start the preseason. 

Many of Ali and Ashlyn’s teammates learns about the transfer from the news so they both get multiple questions if they have broken up. Even if they haven’t, it is hard not feeling like there should be something wrong, because why else would two people seemingly in love willingly move apart. 

The three following weeks are hard for them. Partly because everyone seems to think something is wrong but also because their time together vanishes faster then they want. 

The last day before the move and Ash has everything she is bringing with her packed in the hallway. She got an apartment to rent for the first two months in Orlando and during the meantime she will lock for an apartment or smaller house to buy. This last day feels melancholic, like nothing feels really inspiring to do and thoughts and feelings becomes lumps of anxiety in their throats. So far Ali has spent the day drinking coffee and watching television while Ashlyn has been reading a book about leadership and she is still in bed even though the clock is almost 12 pm. 

“Ash, aren’t you hungry?” Ali asks from the couch, raising her voice a bit.

“Starting to be I guess” Ash says, walking out from the bedroom.

“Can we get pizza? I don’t feel like cooking” Ali suggests.

“Sure, sounds good” 

They go to the nearest pizza place, sitting down at a small window table, ordering one with ham and cheese and one with salami, paprika and rucola. None of them says a word. After ten minutes the waiter comes to their table with two steaming hot pizzas.

“A ham and cheese” 

“Yes, here” Ashlyn says.

He puts the two pizzas down, wishing them to have a good meal with a “bon appetite”, and walks away. Though, to have a good meal it does not just require tasty food, it also requires good company, and this day seems to only provide the first one. They keep silent throughout the meal with some exceptions of thoughts about the packing and remarks on the weather, which is grey and boring and not at all helping the already constrained mood.

 

***

 

When they get home the frame of mind continues, and the hours passes by. This goes on until a point where Ali cannot take it anymore. They sit on the couch on opposite ends watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.

“Ash…” Ali says, and Ash looks up. “I feel so sad that this is our last day and I have kind of letting it get to me all day long and it feels like you also have been in your own bubble today… but this is our last day and I don’t want us to spend it like this. This feeling is not what I want to remember tomorrow after I say good bye to you at the airport” Ali confess. 

“I know, me neither” Ashlyn replies, feeling a bit guilty for being so distant. Even though she knows it comes from the same place of sadness as Ali just described. 

She thinks for a second and then walks over to Ali and holds out her hand. 

“Come with me…” 

Ali grabs her hand to get up from the couch and follows Ashlyn to the closet in the hall. 

“Close your eyes” Ashlyn demands.

“Why?” Ali questions.

“Please, just do as a say honey” Ash says with a smile on her face, knowing very well that Ali sometimes gets anxious about what kind of things Ash can come up with. Ali can hear how Ash opens the walk-in closet door and how she drags something out of there. She can hear paper being ripped and wrinkled.

“Now you can look” Ash says, putting her arm around Ali’s waist. Ali opens her eyes and right in front of her stands a 6x6 feet canvas with different drawn motives of things Ali likes and some things Ashlyn likes, things they both like and some internal jokes and words. 

“Oh my god, have you made this?” Ali exclaims, glancing at Ashlyn, seemingly touched by the surprise.

“Yes, it’s for you to have here so you won’t forget about us” Ash says with a little smile, looking lovingly into Ali’s eyes. 

“I love it! Ali admires the painting “…but I don’t think there is a risk I will forget about us. I am going to miss you every day” Ali says, now with teary eyes.

Ashlyn takes Ali into a full embrace, holding her tight. She can smell the sweet but fresh perfume in Ali’s neck and kisses her tenderly there, she moves up to her jawbone, then to her cheek and then she locks eyes with Ali again, resting their foreheads against each other. Without saying a word trying to transfer her feelings over to Ali, tying to calm her and make sure everything will be okay.

Ali feels her whole body rushing with feelings. She takes Ashlyn’s face in her hands and kisses her tenderly, wanting Ash to feel just how in love she is and how much she is going to miss her.

Quickly, the kiss gets deeper and they feel their tongues meeting, slowly moving together. Ashlyn finds a firm grip around Ali’s lower back, pulling her closer, wanting to feel every bit of Ali against her. Still close together, Ali moves them both slowly in the direction of the bedroom. This hint makes it obvious for Ashlyn to understand what Ali wants. 

They end up hitting the foot of the bed and Ali loses her balance, sitting down on the bed, smiling. Ashlyn smiles back, moving closer, tilting Ali’s chin up and gives her a sweet kiss.

Ashlyn looks into Ali’s eyes and without losing eye contact she moves her hands down Ali’s arms and torso, slowly lifting Ali’s shirt up and over her head while Ali ease the move by lifting her arms. Ali starts unbuttoning Ashlyn’s jeans and slowly pulls them down so that they pool around her feet. Meanwhile Ash pulls her t-shirt over her head leaving her standing in just a sports bra and boxers in front of her girlfriend. Ali ranks up and down Ashlyn’s body, mesmerized by how gorgeous she is. 

Ash moves closer again, standing between Ali’s legs. She leaves kisses in Ali’s neck and down her body making Ali lay down on her back. She pulls of Ali’s pants and thong in the same move and she can feel herself getting wet when Ali spreads her legs for her to get a full view on her most private part. Ash kneels, lightly teasing Ali’s inner thighs with her fingers, down her hamstrings, hips and around up to her abdomen, placing her face closely to the prize with Ali’s legs resting over her shoulders. 

The first touch of Ashlyn’s tongue makes Ali moan of pleasure. She adores how committed Ash is to making her feel good. Starting slow, building her up, kissing her silky folds, continuing down with the tip of her tongue, slowly circling around her entrance. The sensation of the teasing making her incredibly wet.

“Yes” Ali moans when Ash finally gives full attention to her clit. 

She can feel herself getting closer as Ashlyn finds a strong and steady pace with her tongue. Ashlyn noticing this as well, carefully inserting two fingers, pushing against Ali’s upper wall with the same pace as her tongue. Not able to hold on any longer, Ali holds Ashlyn’s head in place with one hand and grabbing the bed cheats with the other while her whole body shivers intensely. Ashlyn feel Ali clenching around her fingers, continuing to push Ali’s inside sweet spot, now with increased pace more suitable with Ali’s hip movements. Ali breath heavily, giving away moans and sounds that only comes out when she reaches climax. 

Even though Ash wants Ali’s touch to put out the burning fire between her legs she cannot hold on to wait for Ali to calm down. 

She gets up beside Ali on the bed, laying on her side, touching Ali’s small breasts, then down her ribs and finally, she slowly scoops up some of Ali’s wetness with the two fingers that just where deep down inside her girlfriend. Moving her hand back to her own soaking wet pussy, starting to gently stroke her already sensitive and swollen clit, mixing Ali’s juices with her own. 

“Don’t want my help today?” Ali questions with a smirk. Rolling close, replacing Ashlyn’s hand with her own.

“Of course I do honey” 

They face each other, laying on the side, kissing. Legs tangled but Ali still with her hand gently satisfying Ash. It does not take long until Ashlyn comes, burying her head down against Ali’s neck and with every new stroke of Ali’s fingers she moves her hips in a humping way to match her needs with the touch, finally giving her release.

They lay in a comfortable silence, tangled, resting their heads against each other and for a few moments they drift to a place of no worries. 

 

***

 

The next day is not easy. Though, it is easier because, in the end, they had a great last evening. But this day would never be easy, and it is still a day they both been dreading for the last weeks. 

Ali wakes up first, feeling Ashlyn’s naked body spooning her. 

Though, they did not fall asleep right away after their little fun last night, because it was not that late, and they used their last night to talk memories and look through albums, they still decided to get naked again when it was time for bed. Not for a sexual reason but mainly to be as close as possible their last night sleeping together.

Ashlyn wakes up by Ali’s movements. She has not opened her eyes yet, but she knows Ali is turning around to face her. The thoughts of this being their last morning before not seeing each other for six weeks causes a lump in her throat. When she feels Ali nestle close, tangling their legs, it brings tears to her eyes as she opens them, viewing the peaceful bedroom through the tears. A bedroom which they shared so much in …laughter, discussions, happiness, sex, love. The list goes on in Ashlyn’s head. Where they really going to make their relationship last even if they had a whole season coming up with only a few possibilities to see each other? And, after this season they had no plan, they had not even discussed what was going to happen after this year. The thoughts keep tumbling around in Ashlyn’s head. Ali had one year left on her contract, so it was possible for her to leave for Orlando next year, but she had not even mentioned having any thoughts about this. Ashlyn had not brought it up either, maybe because there was a big risk Ali did not want to leave Washington. She loved it here and felt so much gratitude for the club.

“Ali, I’m so sorry I am doing this to us and I wish there was another way” Ashlyn says with a fragile voice. “I believe that you truly understand that this is what I need to do right now, but I am also fully aware that this will be tough for us and I am willing to do anything to make things work because I am completely committed to you and this doesn’t change that.”

“Baby, it’s okay” Ali soothes, using her thumb to wipe away Ashlyn’s tears. “I know that you need to do this, we will figure it out”


	3. Trust

To get everything into the apartment takes longer then Ashlyn though, even with the help of Alex Morgan who also had transferred and moved to Orlando just two weeks earlier. They had known each other a long time and played for the national team together and Alex was also one of Ali’s closest friends. Ashlyn felt good about having at least one person she already knew and trusted fully on the team. Even if she had changed teams many times during her career the special situation of being in a new environment with new people was always a bit stressful. This time though, she had the security of her family close by and also some friends she still had contact with from her teen years growing up in Cocoa Beach not long from Orlando. Friends she never got to see often but when they finally had the opportunity to meet everything was still the same, like no time had passed. Especially Liz, no matter how long it was since the last time they saw each other they were equally as close as before. Of course, they talked over the phone from time to time, keeping up with the other one’s life, but still. They understood each other, they had shared so much together, growing to the people they were today, always supporting and cheering the other one on. 

Ali had met Liz and some of Ashlyn’s other friends before, but Ashlyn would really have loved it if this move was Ali and her moving together so she could show Ali and not just tell her about her upbringing and her relations with people outside of soccer. Because to be honest almost all friendships she had made over the years since moving away from Florida had some type of connection to soccer. 

“Did you take in the last box of things Alex?” Ash asks.

“Yes, and the truck drove away, just so you know” 

“Okay that’s fine as long as the guy had everything loaded of” Ash clarifies.

“Locked like it was” Alex reassures.

“Good… do you want a cup of coffee before you go?” 

“That would be lovely, I really need to rest my legs for a sec… Isn’t it crazy that, even if we train as much as we do, things like this is still as tiering!?”

Ash unpacks the box with the coffee machine and let Alex find which of the boxes that contains the cups. The boxes she has gotten sent from Washington contains almost half of the china her and Ali had in their apartment. Almost no furniture where brought down to Orlando, mainly because of the temporary apartment which already has the most necessary like a bed, a couch and a table. For the future new home in Orlando there would have to be new decisions made how to allocate their shared things and what to buy new. 

The coffee is steaming hot and tasty together with the just bought chocolate chip cookies. The conversation between the two starts small with general subjects but soon turns into more deeper topics. 

“How is everything between you and Ali really? I mean, a know you are still together and so but how come you arranged things like this… like, where there something in Washington that wasn’t working?” Alex finally asks. 

“I don’t know if Ali already said something about it, but mainly the reason I moved here is because I want to be closer to my family and even if we had a plan to play our last years in Washington I couldn’t say no when this opportunity came along. I mean, that Orlando, Florida, would have a team in the NWSL was something I never thought would happen, at least not when I still played. So, Ali and I have agreed that this is where I need to be. But with that said, I can’t say it has been easy for us, or not trying on our relationship. I kind of didn’t break the news to her in a good way and these last few weeks have been a bit hard. It’s like we are both sad we will not be living together but I also feel like Ali are still a bit disappointed with me in some way.” Ash explains. 

“She kind of told me that you wanted to be closer to your family too, but why would she be disappointed with you for that?” Alex questions.

“I don’t think it’s because of that but just for how I handled things and the whole situation. I think we both wished there could be a better arrangement, but we have always built our relationship on respect and trust, so this is her respecting my needs …and if it weren’t for my stupid way of telling her about it, the trust part wouldn’t be a problem either.”

“Yeah, I get it, you just have to work a bit harder to make everything work out now then” Alex points out. 

“Yes, that’s true, and honestly, whatever happens I will prioritize her first”

“I figured” Alex says with a smirk, knowing very well how strong feelings her two friends have for each other. 

From the moment Ali and Ash met during a national team camp it had been an unbelievable attraction between the two, no matter how hard Ali had though to not seem interested in Ash it did not take many days until she could not control herself any more. They had started to hang around each other most of the time outside the field and everyone could see their chemistry from miles away. Though it where not until they started to sneak away just the two of them, rumors started going around in the team. From the beginning a lot of focus on Ashlyn falling for a straight girl and everyone though she was going to get miserable when she could not have what she wanted. Megan Rapinoe had even taken a hard on conversation with her, telling her to back of before she got her heart broken. Then rumors changed to “are they more than friends?” and “since when did Ali like girls?” after Meghan Klingenberg said she had seen Ali and Ash rapidly pull apart from what looked like a kiss and with red cheeks Ali had greeted her with a shy “hi” and then quickly walked of. 

Alex and Ali had many conversations afterwards about how difficult it had been for Ali in the beginning. Since, first of all, she did not know how she could feel like she did for a woman, because she never had before, even though she had experimented in collage and kissed some girls before she did not see herself end up in a serious relationship with one. And, second of all, because she though everyone else expected her to be in a certain way and like certain things because of her feminine look and previous relationships. And, lastly, because she did not want to disappoint her family, or mainly her dad, she knew her mom would be okay, because she was when her brother Kyle came out. But when it came to her dad, even if he had tried to not show it, some type of disappointment and lack of understanding still shined through. But in the end Ali did not have any choice not telling everyone because she could not loose Ash. She had already given Ash her heart. 

 

***

 

Facetime quickly become Ali’s and Ashlyn’s best friend. To be able to see each other while talking makes things much easier, just to see the expressions on each other’s faces and be able to show things going on in their homes. It’s not near enough though. The physical touch is more important than they have realized. They were so used to living together. To have those small touches, hugs and kisses that comes so natural during a day. It is first now, when they do not have it, that they notice the lack of intimacy. 

Almost three weeks has gone since the move, but Ali feel like it’s been an eternity. Not that they have not been apart before, but the latest years they have spent almost all time together considering they have been playing for the same club and the national team together. They always traveled to the same places at the same time. Sometimes in the club team even being paired up in the same hotel room. In the national team though, there is a policy to not have couples sharing rooms, mainly to keep it as professional as possible and to keep focus on soccer but also to support the rule of no sex the day before game. Some thought it was a stupid rule, but according to the national team physio therapist, orgasms could possibly decrease reflex time, at least for men, and they wanted to have the same rules for both the women’s and men’s team. 

This Friday evening Ali is invited to celebrate one of her closer friend’s birthday together with some other girls that she has known for a while. It was set to be a small gathering but after a few drinks the host and birthday girl insists on everyone going out to a bar and from there they go to one of the more popular nightclubs.

Ali is well aware of the type of environment this is, most people are around 25 and single, just waiting to flirt with whoever they find attractive. And she knows from experience that she happens to be one of those girls many guys and some girls find attractive, and the fact that she is a public person being a national team soccer player does not make her less attractive or fun to walk up and talk to either. She knows Ashlyn would not be keen on her going to this club, but she wants to let this evening and night be about her friend. 

The hours pass by and the group of friends alternates between sitting at a table talking, and dancing on the dancefloor. Ali have some text message contact with Ash just telling Ash about the evening and explaining the change of plans. Ash on the other side of the phone is being supportive, not mentioning her dislike of the specific nightclub, because she wants Ali to have fun and she do not want to be that controlling and jealous girlfriend. 

Ali is having a great night. Dancing together with her friends makes her forget, just for some moments, about missing Ashlyn. Because during all hours of the day that is what she is doing, missing her girlfriend, wishing she was there. The group of friends are having so much fun that they lose track of time and after a while Ali starts to feel a bit weird and tired so she decides to take company with two acquainted girls that happens to live in the same block.

It was kind of a long time since she drank this much so it is not surprising the alcohol is affecting her easily. She says good bye to her friends on the street in front of her house and walks in, dropping har purse on the hallway floor while taking of her shoes. The bed seems so appealing and the urge to sleep kicks in. She cannot resist resting her eyes for some minutes before she intends to go up and wash of and really get ready for bed. 

***

Getting message after message with details from the party was pretty fun even though Ashlyn whished she could be there. Ali knows how to make Ashlyn feel included and kept in the light with what is going on many miles away from her. Ash had never had a disbelief in Ali’s fidelity, so she did not expect Ali to be so informative about the party, even though, as for most couples, being apart and one going to a party drinking could be a bit stressful, so, she guessed Ali just wanted to avoid any misunderstanding and jealousy.

Ash hears her phone go of, thinking it is Ali finally texting back again after almost an hour of silence. She locks at the screen seeing only a notification from an unknown number, opening the message, seeing a selfie of Ali and a guy with the text:  
“Ali is so fine. Sorry she is not yours anymore. Just got invited to follow her home. I promise I will take good care of her... /Matt”

Ashlyn sees red. She does not know if she will start to cry or punch a hole in the wall. The feelings are overwhelming. 

She tries to gather herself, persuade herself, comfort herself.

This could not be the truth… She tells herself.

She calls Ali multiple times, realizing after the seventh time she is not going to get an answer. She calls some of Ali’s friend that she knows where with the group partying. Some does not know where Ali is at all, and some says Ali went home suddenly. None of the answers are helpful or calming. Either Ali has gone missing, possibly taken against her will by some stranger man, or she has suddenly invited a man to their, at least until three weeks ago, shared apartment. Ashlyn panics. 

***

The resting of eyes become a full night sleep and Ali is finally waking up with the sun streaming in from the uncovered window. She can smell the vague alcohol odor in the room, feeling her head being extra heavy while she sits up in bed. She cannot really tell what time it is, but it is definitely well after what most people would call “morning”. She gets up, realizing pretty fast how her stomach is not on board with the alcohol intake last night. Not knowing what time it is makes her go to the hall where she believes her phone is still in her purse. 

She grabs the phone, taking it with her to bed, opening the screen on the way there. She realizes immediately by the 14 missed calls from Ashlyn, that she has forgotten to text Ashlyn back to tell her she got home safe and sound. At the same time as she wants to call Ash, she feels her stomach turning upside down, turning towards the bathroom instead. 

Ali feel a bit ashamed of drinking so heavily. Not wanting Ashlyn to hear how bad she is feeling, she manages to at least tape in “I am fine, totally forgot to tell you I got home safe, sorry” and send it to Ash between feeling extremely nauseous.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I want to let you know that this is my first work ever. Also, english is not my first language.  
> Hope you are understanding if there are some grammer problems and lack of good words. Hoping to improve over time. (feel free to give me tips and advice)  
> Have a good day :)


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